Hello readers!
It is the end of the day. Have you ever noticed how different you think in the morning and then at night. You wake up thinking or having some idea of how your day is going to go, and it ends up to be not even close to what you had in mind, at least for me. Currently I am listening to Claire De Lune. I love that song, it melts everything away.
What I have come to realize in my life, things get cray, emotions run high, we get mad, we cry ( ha I rhymed) , we fight, we find love, we get stressed, we lose our patience, but when it has gotten so bad, I come to realize, I need to take a step outside of it all. To look at the bigger picture in life, what is really important. Everybody is different, we all think differently, act differently, and the level of importance of certain things will always be different. When did we smile to a stranger. Or say hello or have a good day to those people outside of target or some department store you purposely exit the enter entrance to avoid them. What would happen if we dropped just a quarter in that cup or bucket or guitar case, yes we are all broke but if we did that, I bet it would make that persons day just a little more brighter and give that person a little more hope for their life.
When things are not going right and I am losing patience and being short with the people that matter most, thats when I am not putting God first. It is his reminder, letting me know that I am trying to run my life. It doesn't work like that. So I just break down and cry, for about an hour, just feeling lost and helpless, frustrated at myself, dissapointed, all these emotions that are not helpful at all, and I put my head down and say "Take it, please, Take it, I cannot do it alone". I tend to look to someone else for answers and it always fails because they are human, we all let each other down in some way or another. I forget to look above at something much greater and more powerful than anyone on this earth.
Yes readers, I love God. Now listening to memory from "Cats". Just that song, I love it. Anywhoo, my point is, try taking a step back. I live in L.A., where everyone and their mom wants to be a "Big Star"! Yes its in caps. And we all like to brag about ourselves and who been in who and I know this person. That is all great. For me its much bigger than that. God gave me a gift, yes I have many faults, I screw up all the time, but he made me talented in the arts. It is my passion and it is what keeps me going in this ridiculous industry. I dont care if I walk the red carpet, well Im sure it would be nice and it would be great to find out what kind of fabric it is, but I just want to share my gifts, my Dad told me, it is such a great thing to be able to perform because when people go see a movie or a play or musical for about 2 hours, they forget there problems. Knowing I could help people, to add a small amount of joy , makes it so worth it. Ever since my Dad told me that ( my dad BTW is the most important person in my life, and always will be, he is my rock and with out him, I would be living in a cardboard box) I looked performing a whole new way.
If you know me, I am a nerd, sometimes a fabulous dork. I am so ok with that. I make fun of myself all the time, it usually makes people laugh and thats what matters most. If I can make someone smile, me looking like a complete boob makes it ok. I have a dry sense of humor, I am very sarcastic but I think in a good entertaining way.
Now I am listening to a little Dean Martin. I should have lived in the 40's, I was made fun of a lot, for listening to Andrew Sisters and my favourite movies include Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, the classics. I am ok with that. I am glad I dont listen to Lady Froofroo, or lets get down and grind each other kind of music. I like that I don't talk 5 octives higher than any girl should. I am glad I don't wear high heels everywhere, or Im sorry, get ready for the gym, getting ready for the gym to me is rolling out of bed and going, I still dont understand, hey gals lets cake makeup and wear clothes that we cant breathe in and look good for guys who only go to the gym for one reason and its not for the soft towels and fresh water.
Why would a girl be interested in a guy like that, I will never understand. O ha look at me, bitter much, Lorelai? Actually Im not, people think that, but I not , I just say it like it is, peoples stupidity will always amaze me.
Ok readers, I hope I havn't lost you. To sum it up, for some reason I have earned a lot this week, had some ephiphanys, and what not, you cannot change someone, they will do what they want. Ok tomorrow is my day off, I am excited about that! Update in the morning!
-Lady Lorelai
